"I just forgot... romance"

A few months ago i sat down to watch a romantic comedy, burst out in tears, and threw my used tissues at the screen yelling that the hackneyed "happily ever after" doesn't come true in real life. Today, i sit here humbled. Several thousand miles away, there exists a man who plays my counter part in our own romantic comedy. Despite all my promises to myself that i wouldn't let myself fall into the broken-heart-trap that is high school "love" he refuses to be anything but my every thought. For once in my life my happiness is drowning out my fears, and I am letting myself think irrationally. The only problem: he is in California for Christmas break. I will survive... I hope.

And now i see how bipolar i can be. I just got off the phone with him and we had nothing to talk about which really upset me because we were just frustrating each other, and now I'm pissed and don't know what to do with myself. Eureka! We have a hard time communicating and understanding each other because i am a very private person (i only express myself through this blog which i don't let my friends know i have) i don't explain who i am to anyone even my closest friends, and he want me to, and i don't know how to nor do i want to. *sigh* What to do?

My final thought on the matter: Give him all you have it hurts him too much when you act logically.